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about

Despite me liking this song as much as anything else on 'Trisagion', it just didn't fit. This is a very personal track that I wrote about a short period of psychosis and a brush with suicide I had in late 2018. It's neither indicative of the artistic trajectory I'm going in, nor anywhere I've been before - it just exists by itself, thus, I'm giving it a release as its own entity. It feels fitting to end a several-year silence with what is, to me, a very emotionally poignant song. I hope you enjoy it.

Lanterns was written around trying to find my way back from a very dark place. Seeing my loved ones from such a far away distance despite them being right in front of me. Despite being surrounded by support and love, I felt alone, and the only person who could help me find my way back was myself, wandering fruitlessly through the fog of my own mind.

(Please note - this is an updated version due to there being a mastering mistake in the original. If you have lost access to the track for any reason, email me using the 'Contact Ethereal Shroud' button on the right and I'll sort you out with a download code.)

lyrics

What answer do you have in sorrow's wake
But to abandon all beheldest dear
Time ever longer in the coldest night
Withdrawn behind my mind's enclosure

It is kinder to accept one's nature
Than to inflict unto others your poisons
It is kinder to be destitute
Without a light to carry through the fog

If I held up a light, you would see me unravel before your eyes
Embittered and distanced, embers barely holding the glow
To tremble at the thought of one more day
Distant lanterns glow in the mist
Their warmth all but alien to my skin

Longing fingers grasp at the golden glow
But are soon pulled in from the burning heat
Back to a chest as cold as a shadow
Its familiarity a comfort as well as defeat

Take what is lost, gather what's left astray
Husk of a beating heart, clinging to a namesake
Still are the waters that flow throw the veins
Waiting for the warmth of a fire I keep far away

Lucidity grants me with certainty that this will pass
But oh so distant is the hour
And far beyond reaching is the world I have undone
This empty path bears not the answers that I seek
There is no solace here

Your distant warmth will return to me
As soon as I let you in
When the darkness lays down arms
Bring light
For mine wanes before the day

credits

from Lanterns (demo 2020), released October 11, 2020
Joseph Hawker - All Instrumentation and Vocals

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Ethereal Shroud UK

cinematic RABM from UK with undertones of funeral doom, ambient. and drone. accidentally long songs. emotional intensity.

fuck off NSBM - fascists deserve the cruelest fate.

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